Book Review – Moments that could have changed football forever. What if? by Peter Prickett & Peter Thornton

At the end of ninety minutes across the world fans will invariably ask, “What If?” As fans, we’ve all done it. And it doesn’t just confine itself to the action on the pitch. Many will ask the same question, whether about managerial appointments, player transfers than never materialised, or indeed any situation which had a bearing on their beloved team.

Content wise, the book contains 28 What If scenarios and has the authors justifying their selections on the following basis: “We tended to go for moments that, when projected further, had real knock-on effects that would have changed the course of football history.”

The various scenarios selected for the book will no doubt be up for debate as every fan will have their own which would have changed the history of their club. Readers will also have their own opinions on the outcomes the authors deliver, however, as Prickett and Thornton say in the books Introduction,If you have disagreed with them then it means our writing has achieved its goal”.

Each chapter is essentially in two parts, the first is a factual summary in respect of the What If question, with the second part, the authors taking the reader through their view of how a situation could play out. What is just as important as to the ‘new’ outcome that Prickett and Thornton detail, are the things that never do come to pass, since the timeline and those in it now go down a different path – football v science fiction.

There is a good mix of situations that the authors come up with and includes three chapters which pit some notable teams down the years against each other, with Brazil 1970 v Spain 2008-2012, Hungary 1954 v Holland 1974 and Real Madrid Galacticos 1960 v Real Madrid Galacticos 2002. Prickett and Thornton both have a coaching background and they use this to good effect in detailing how the contrasting styles, eras and players might have matched up.

Elsewhere this reader has three favourites from the book, The first is the What If an African Team Win the World Cup, which sees Nigeria lift the trophy in 1994 with a potentially seismic impact on the French national team. The second is What If Brian Clough Had Managed England, with the mercurial manager taking over in 1977 after Don Revie’s resignation and how this would have shaped England’s fate on the European and World stage. Lastly, What If Technology Took Over From the Referee, which is a thought provoking, yet chilling view of how the game could change as technology and social media could take and split the beautiful game. A great way to end the book.

Overall an intriguing read which quite simply takes football fantasy to its extreme with some interesting conclusions.

(Publisher: Pitch Publishing Ltd. June 2023. Hardcover: 320 pages)

 

Buy the book here: What if?

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Top Ten Football books from Chris Jones

Our ‘Top Ten Football books’ list continues to grow with this contribution from author and football historian Chris Jones. He is the author of England’s Calamity? A New Interpretation of the ‘Match of the Century’ which looks at the famous 1953 match at Wembley when Hungary beat England 6-3. The crushing defeat has long been seen as the watershed moment when England cast off its training methods and tactics of the past to embrace new continental practices. Jones however takes a different view in his book arguing that the defeat was not a revolutionary moment but one key part of an evolutionary process.

Here then is Jones’ list:

  1. Football in Sun and Shadow, Eduardo Galeano

A Uruguayan philosopher and polemicist shows how it should be done with his focussed vignettes on all elements of the game.

  1. Only a Game?: The Diary of a Professional Footballer, Eamonn Dunphy.

A raw and incredibly open account of Dunphy’s own career and life during a season as a player at Millwall in the mid-1970s.

  1. The Football Man: People & Passions in Soccer, Arthur Hopcraft.

An early journey of analysis which set a bench mark for others to follow from the 1960s.

  1. Inverting the Pyramid: The History of Football Tactics, Jonathon Wilson.

You only ever need to read one book on the development of football tactics throughout the world – this is it.

  1. Three Kings, Leo Moynihan.

Balance in approach blends this detailed analysis of three friends who ruled the British football world for 20 years.

  1. Those Feet: A Sensual History of English Football, David Winner.

A unique, tangential book bringing forward new perspectives of how to view the game.

  1. The Age of Football: The Global Game in the Twenty-first Century, David Goldblatt.

The breadth is incredible, assessing the current game worldwide in all its corrupt, money mad reality.

  1. Don Revie: The Biography, Christopher Evans.

The standard bearer for football biographies. If only they were all this good.

  1. My Father and Other Working Class Footballers, Gary Imlach

A touching, deeply written book that takes us into the life of one from a different age.

  1. A Life Too Short: The Tragedy of Robert Enke, Ronald Reng.

A superb and sensitively written book on the life of Enke, outlining the pressure of life and his experiences.

Read the FBR review here: https://footballbookreviews.com/reviews/book-review-a-life-too-short-the-tragedy-of-robert-enke-by-ronald-reng-translated-into-english-by-shaun-whiteside

PANTOMIME HERO: MEMORIES OF THE MAN WHO LIFTED LEEDS UNITED AFTER BRIAN CLOUGH (FOOTBALL SHORTS) by Ian Ridley

Jimmy Armfield was one of the great figures of English football – captain of the national team before Bobby Moore, member of the 1966 World Cup-winning squad, one-club man with Blackpool.

Gentleman Jim went on to enjoy a wonderfully rich life and career as a manager with Leeds United, before becoming a broadcaster of warmth and insight, then consultant with the Football Association and the Professional Footballers’ Association.

In Pantomime Hero, award-winning football writer and author Ian Ridley tells the remarkable tale of when Armfield took over at Leeds after Brian Clough’s ill-fated 44 days and came up with a novel and unique idea to restore the morale of a club in turmoil.

Around that amazing tale, Ridley also describes a friendship forged through the bonds of cancer with a giant of a man who was already long established as a national footballing treasure at the time of his death in January 2018.

This is the first book in the innovative Football Shorts series.

(Publisher: Football Shorts. January 2023. Paperback: 160 pages)

 

Buy the book here: Jimmy Armfield

Book Review: Jordan Henderson: The Autobiography by Jordan Henderson

What makes a great football captain? Is it the best player in the team or the most consistent? The loudest voice or the best communicator? Someone who plays with their heart or their head? The person who leads by example on the pitch or off it? In truth, ideally it is a combination of all of these things, and more besides. Names like Tony Adams, Roy Keane, Wes Morgan, Vincent Kompany and Steven Gerrard often feature in discussions of the Premier League’s greatest captains. These are players who not only won trophies for their clubs but also led their teams physically and emotionally – they became, in a way, extensions of the badge. Tony Adams was Arsenal, Roy Keane was Manchester United, Wes Morgan was Leicester City. They were the figureheads for their clubs, undoubted leaders on the pitch with personas that matched. Each had his own style, his own challenges to face and each left an enviable footballing legacy. These are big boots to fill, but arguably Jordan Henderson has not only filled these boots but made them even bigger.

NHL Hall of Famer Joe Sakic said, ‘A… team needs a voice, not only in the community, but more importantly between the coaching staff and the players.’ Whilst the triptych remains – players, staff, community – the emphasis on community has grown in recent years, not least as a result of the pandemic. And Henderson’s voice has been at the forefront of bridging a link not only with Liverpool fans, or even football fans, but with wider society, through his work on the #PlayersTogether NHS initiative and fund. If there is one takeaway from Henderson’s recent autobiography, it is that he is quick to pass the plaudits around; like any great leader, he honours the work of others and downplays his own role. Yet Henderson was at the heart of football’s rallying for the NHS and, coupled with the incredible success under his captaincy at Liverpool, which has included the full gamut of top-tier trophies on offer – Premier League, FA Cup, League Cup, Community Shield, Champions League, European Super Cup and Club World Cup – the former won for the first time in three decades for the Reds, the latter won for the first time ever – his is a legacy that carries exceptional significance not only on the pitch but beyond football, not only in Liverpool but nationwide.

In many ways, Henderson’s impressive leadership has made him not only a figurehead for his club but a figurehead for the football community and he’s a warm, likeable and modest one at that, as evidenced throughout the compelling autobiography. Indeed, had Henderson had his way, this book, rather than bearing his name, would have been titled With or Without Me. No, it’s not a homage to U2’s ‘With or Without You’ but rather an acknowledgement of Henderson’s belief that Liverpool’s success would have happened with, or more importantly without, him. This may come across as false modesty from some and I’m not sure there would be many other Premier League and Champions League winners who would be so quick to write off their influence, but from Henderson it’s a genuine marker of the man – his lack of pretension, his sense of humility and his respect for his peers. I suspect, though, that while Henderson believes the success could have happened without him, his teammates, fans and manager would vehemently argue the toss. After all, Henderson has been at the beating heart of Liverpool’s midfield (and even, when called up on, their defence) for over a decade. That’s an impressive enough feat at any team but to hold down that place in a side that has been repeatedly challenging for domestic and European honours speaks of just how integral and valued he is.

It is easy to forget too that Henderson and his career was in its relative infancy when he arrived at Anfield from Sunderland in 2011 and the task of making his mark and forcing his way into a Reds side looking to recreate Liverpool’s glory days would have daunted many. Henderson not only battled it out, but he turned around perceptions and then stepped up to fill perhaps the biggest void in recent Liverpool history when the iconic Steven Gerrard left. Henderson’s autobiography is testament to his determination, his endeavour and his responsibility. There’s also an incredible maturity, a willingness to accept his flaws and crucially work at them and to understand the importance of the team and to play his part.

There is much to enjoy in the book about life at Liverpool, the early days of Klopp’s reign, struggles with injury, memorable nights (for different reasons) in Kyiv and Madrid and that compelling first Premier League title in thirty years, but what defines Henderson are his values and his ethos. He speaks eloquently and honestly on everything from the pressures of social media and the challenges of criticism to racism, the failed Super League and the privileges of being a footballer. His words carry weight, as do his actions, and on and off the pitch he epitomises what it means to be a captain, what it means to be a leader, what it means to be a role model. With him, Liverpool have experienced one of their most successful periods in history – a coincidence, I think not. Without him, this would have been a very different story.

With or without him? I suspect Liverpool fans would say with him, 100%.

Jade Craddock

(Publisher: Michael Joseph. October 2022. Hardcover: 336 pages)

 

Buy the book here: Jordan Henderson

2022 World Cup – Sunday 11 December 2022

Morocco 1 (1) – (0) 0 Portugal (Al Thumama Stadium, Doha)

Morocco scorer: En-Nesyri (42′)

 

History was made in another Quarter Final of high drama. Morocco became the first African side to reach a World Cup Semi Final. As in their previous fixtures they have been tenacious in defence and quick on the counterattack. This is no fluke, they topped their group, beating Canada, Belgium and drawing with Croatia, seeing off Spain on penalties and now ending Ronaldo’s last shot at World Cup glory. It will have been even more galling for him given Argentina’s and Messi’s progress to another Semi Final.

The winning goal came just before the break with Youssef En-Nesyr heading home a cross that Portugal’s ‘keeper Diogo Costa was never likely to get to. Talking of goalkeepers, Morocco’s No:1 Yassine Bounou yet again made some vital saves to keep Portugal at bay, including a late effort from Ronaldo who come on as a substitute. The noise at the whistle was unbelievable even for those of us watching from home.

Pele once famously said that an African side would win the World Cup before 2000. That didn’t come to pass, but could Morocco be about to deliver a first African World Cup win? Morocco march on to meet France. This will no doubt be an interesting clash, given that Morocco was a French Protectorate from 1912, until gaining independence from France in 1956.

 

England 1 (0) – (1) 2 France (Al Bayt Stadium, Al Khor)

England scorer: Kane (54′ pen). France scorers: Tchouameni (17′), Giroud (78′)

 

It’s always difficult to be objective about your club or country when they lose. Much was said last  night about the refereeing and certain incidents, and it will rumble on for a few days yet.

Today in the cold light of day, I still believe the referee had a poor game and at this level and stage of the biggest competition that is plainly unacceptable. However, despite all that, had Harry Kane converted his second penalty, England would still have had a chance to go on and win. I hope there isn’t a backlash against the Three Lions skipper who has served his country well down the years.

Going into this tournament I had called for Gareth Southgate to be replaced despite his record and how he turned around the fortunes of the England team. His tenure can only be seen as a success, but one that has been unable to take any of the big prizes. It will be interesting to see whether he stays on.

Congrats to France. Good sides win even when not performing at their best and it maybe we have a repeat of the 2018 Final yet against Croatia.

 

And so we are down to the final four teams with the line-up as follows:

Tuesday 13 December – Argentina v Croatia (Lusail Iconic Stadium, Lusail)

Wednesday 14 December – France v Morocco (Al Bayt Stadium, Al Khor)

2022 World Cup – Saturday 10 December 2022

Croatia 1 (0) – (0) 1 Brazil AET. Croatia won 4-2 on penalties (Education City Stadium, Al Rayyan)

Croatia scorer: Petkovic (117′). Brazil scorer: Neymar (105’+1’)

 

Well, well, well. Europe 1, South America 0. So Brazil might have been favourites and five-time World Champions but the Croats care little for reputation and just went about their business to dump out Neymar and his samba dancing pals.

After a quiet first-half, Brazil totally dominated the second forty-five and but for numerous saves from Dominik Livakovic they would have cruised through. However, there was no panic from Croatia even when Neymar scored an excellent goal in extra time. He started the move, played two one-two’s, riding a challenge before rounding the ‘keeper to fire home – a special goal indeed. Croatia though just kept going and with three minutes left, broke down the pitch where Petkovic swept home with a slight deflection taking it beyond Alisson.

And so to penalties. Livakovic having starred again Japan in the shoot-out in the last sixteen, once again was the hero, saving Rodrygo’s first spot kick. Croatia were perfect with all of their first four which put the pressure on Marquinhos. However, when he struck the post, it was adeus Brazil with Croatia into a second successive World Cup Semi-Final.

 

Netherlands 2 (0) – (1) 2 Argentina AET. Argentina won 4-3 on penalties. (Lusail Iconic Stadium, Lusail)

Netherlands scorers: Weghorst (83’minutes, 90’+11minutes). Argentina scorers: Molina (35’minutes), Messi (73’minutes pen)

 

Europe 1, South America 1…another drama filled game, dominated by an over officious referee with 17 yellow cards and one 1 red issued, with ugly confrontational scenes between the teams and their benches at the end of extra time and penalties.

When Messi stroked home a penalty with seventeen minutes remaining the game looked done and dusted at 2-0 to Argentina. The Dutch had nothing to lose and went more direct, and even though they got one back with seven minutes reaming through a lovely Weghorst header it seemed as if it was just a consolation. Then deep into time added on, a quite brilliantly worked free-kick move saw Netherlands draw level through Weghorst’ s second goal. Extra time was dominated by Argentina in the second fifteen, but it was penalties once more.

Aston Villa’s ‘keeper Emi Martinez has a great record saving penalties and proved it once again, making saves from the first two Dutch spot-kicks which was enough to see Argentina through 4-3. The celebrations were all the greater knowing that their South American rivals Brazil has exited earlier.

 

Morocco v Portugal (Al Thumama Stadium, Doha)

The third World Cup meeting between these sides, with the first at the finals in Mexico. It was a group stage game with Morocco winning 3-1. Portugal gained some revenge with a 1-0 win in 2018 with Ronaldo getting the vital goal.

After the drama of the opening two Quarter Finals, who knows what this one will bring. Will Ronaldo be back in the starting line up or do they stick to the side that demolished South Korea? Morocco should not be taken lightly as they have shown resilience and no little skill to make it this far. They will be hoping it’s not a game too far.

 

England v France (Al Bayt Stadium, Al Khor)

For me this tie will take me back to Spain 1982. The glorious sunshine, the weird echoey commentary and crowd noise, a squad number system based on surname (Trevor Brooking wore No:3, Tony Woodcock No: 21) and no makers logo on the Three Lions legendary Admiral kits.

Against the French in the group stages Bryan Robson scored after 27 seconds, only for France to level, but a second goal from Robson and a volley from the late great Paul Mariner sealed a 3-1 win. Oh that today will be as comfortable! Les Bleus are a team of many talents – from Lloris in goal through to Mbappe up front. This is a real tester for England and go into the game as underdogs.

But as this tournament has shown anything can happen.

PS. Did anyone mention England beat France 2-0 with a Roger Hunt brace on the way to winning the 1966 World Cup?

2022 World Cup from afar…

I believe that your relationship with the World Cup can be defined by your very first experience of it. It means that I believe that Europe is dominated by the Dutch and the Germans, the favourites are always the Brazilians who are flawed geniuses and that my own home country, Scotland should always be there and never be beaten but never escape the group stages. 1974, became for me, Muller v Cruyff and I backed the loser.

And so, 2022, the Dutch and the Germans are there, even if for one it was temporary, and the Brazilians are touted as favourites but are still described as flawed whilst Scotland seem to be giving it a miss. And, of course, as a Scot who watched the ‘74 version, England should not be there… But they are…

Right now, you cannot mention Qatar without the politics. I am in the camp that says this should not be in Qatar. Politics has always been there or thereabouts in football as it was in the 1978 World Cup in the Junta led Argentina whilst in 2018, I am not quite sure how the Russians stacked up…

But it’s there and it is happening, and you cannot ignore how much of a cracking tournament it has been. The group stages have managed to bring some shocks and talking points which show, once more, that the prejudice of the past – Europe good, rest of world, not so good – is increasingly a thing of the past. Colonialism aside, the great game has taken the lessons of the past and not just brought some South Asian flair and samba but some African grit and determination.

This truly feels like a World Cup.

Europe has suffered some early failures. Germany and Belgium being two of them, but we can also add in everyone’s wee national team – Denmark. Eriksen’s near death experience at the Euros was broadcast across the world and the sympathy brought his nation to our hearts. Unfortunately, it would not bring them to the 2022 knockout phase.

Belgium have flattered to deceive for years. If they could just get through on the shoulders of one player, they would have been champions of Europe, the world, the universe, the milky way… But De Bruyne does not a winning side make as they say in Flemish… now…

Germany was inefficient. And a bit rubbish in their first game. It’s all a little, un-German for the Germans. The high standards they set themselves are, of course, based on winning the damn thing so damn often – sometimes because the officials don’t come from the former Soviet Union …

In the Middle East we are quite used to the vast sums of money being offered to players at the tail end of their careers to go over there and play out their last few seasons. What we are less likely to experience is their national teams managing to pull off shocks, like the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia managing to beat Argentina. Of course, not to be outdone, the Japanese were able to knock nails in the German coffin by beating them convincingly. In turn, they then got beat by Costa Rica, so perhaps they shall complain about that, though it might lead to some challenge over balls going over lines and goals not really being goals…

Also emerging were Morocco who borrowed the hammer from the Japanese and set about Belgium and Roberto Martinez’s coffin. They topped the Belgian group. They never lost a game. They are from Africa – what is going on?

Of those who got out their groups, were damaged in the process but survived? France and Brazil. They got beaten by Tunisia and Cameroon respectively and may feel like they have much still to worry about. France looked vulnerable and whilst Tunisia was perhaps, just getting the French back for having been a French colony which means many of their players could be eligible to play for either country, the French did of course get through the last 16 so the worry was a tad temporary.

If Le Blues looked vulnerable, then Brazil looked, well flawed. Of course, Richarlison’ s goal is THE goal of the tournament so far and given that the January window is close I wonder if Spurs will be getting ready to cash in or face off all pirates?

For me, though it was the heartbreak of Group C which captured me. Messi finally looked like he could escape club football and Lewandowski got his goal, was where I think I began to see who may win the tournament. The Poles were perhaps a little fortunate to get out the group – that luck did not last, whilst the Mexicans just fell short, but it was a fascinating storyline which had it all – including the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia making their mark.

If Messi finally emerged, then Ronaldo spoke volumes on a pitch rather than in an interview as he became the first male striker to score in 5 World Cups. The plucky Ghanaians were a delight, and all dressed up like a carnival was about to break out. Unfortunately, such festivity is not encouraged in the likes of Qatar and so they were always going to have to leave their own party.  The emergence of Bruno Fernandes, a one-time colleague of Ronaldo at a club in the northwest of England might just have seen us witnessing the beginnings of a challenge for the Golden Boot – a certain Mbappe will have something clearly to say about it.

But will either be in a team that can score 7 in one game like Spain. Their demolition of Costa Rica, which was followed by Costa Rica beating Japan, was indicative of the helter skelter nature of the group stages. There should have been nobody able to touch the Spanish but having made a  statement on a world stage they seemed to decide to want to mumble on the side-lines thereafter.

Also emerging from the group stages was Australia. Their team is littered with players who have made their careers in British – often even Scottish – football. So far, they have been relatively unexciting.

As one former colony managed to make it through, another, Canada, departed. One of the lessons that Canada brought was the value to their players of having the World Cup as a platform for them – a few have been mentioned now as targets for Premiership clubs.

And so, what of England? There were a few people who hoped that their sterling work in the Nations League with their form in that competition would transfer into this tournament… Aside from one game, Southgate’s Surrogates have got through. The second half against Wales was ruthless. You would have thought they could have come together with mates and agreed two goals a start and jumpers as goal posts to allow the other home country to progress but no, not even for mates… It makes expectation for a team which was last to falter at a major competition at the very last game, rise to the point of near fervour. I feel for them. They went on to face a team who managed what they could not – to win their continental championship – Senegal. To be fair Senegal managed to get through a group which included the Dutch who are always a hit or miss, the Qataris, and the one team that ought to have got through – Ecuador. They could be called lucky rather than plucky, but their luck ran out. Meanwhile, England’s failure to beat a team who cannot even spell football, the USA, showed that England can be thwarted. It took the Dutch to split the bill and dandily stop the Yankee Doodle.

Croatia, Switzerland and South Korea also got through their groups but not many are seeing them as genuine contenders. Croatia ducked behind the Moroccans and held back the Belgians so it might be that their progress has more to do with a certain Modric and the lack of quality brought to Qatar by the world number 2s – Belgium. The Swiss were second to the Brazilians in a fairly perfunctory series of games which might make them ready to expect things to stay perfunctory: they may be in for a shock. South Korea, having managed to build a national side during and after their home tournament into a world force, made Luis Suarez cry. Quiet a few people love the South Koreans.

Aside from all that, the appearance of the very first all-female refereeing complement, the controversy over whether the Iranian football team sang their national anthem properly and the Germans making a point by holding their hands to their mouths, this has been a VAR and extra time World Cup. VAR has not been as advertised. It sorts little out and delays things. People suggested it would resolve the arguments. It has only gone and created new ones. Why? Because it is operated by humans. And humans are… humans.

The additional time being played could suggest that we have a last goal the winner rule for the final OR we could be waiting until 2024 for the result. And we all know there is nothing that would ever cancel the football like a pandemic …

I have to say I am looking forward to the rest of the tournament. As to who will win it, my heart wants Brazil, especially given the current state of health of my all-time favourite player, Pele, but my head says that Argentina look likely. And as for England, well, now they face the French next, the place to head to is Leeds for that game. Matchroom are about to announce a fan friendly event at their world title fight between IBF featherweight champion Josh Warrington and Luis Alberto Lopez. In the First Direct Arena they plan to interrupt the night of fighting to show the game. Thereafter there shall be fighting. It will be interesting to see if that is in a ring or in a crowd outside the ring…

And you heard it here first… from a Scotsman…

And see, you can get through something on the World  Cup without mentioning 1966…

Oops…

Donald C Stewart

Follow on Twitter @CommuneArts

2022 World Cup – Monday 05 December 2022

France 3 (0) – (0) 1 Poland (Al Thumama Stadium, Doha)

France scorers: Giroud (44′), Mbappe (74′, 90’+1’). Poland scorer: Lewandowski (90’+9’ pen)

 

These two teams had met previously in a World Cup back in 1982 when they contested the 3rd/4th place match at the Estadio Jose Rico Perez in Alicante. On that occasion it was the Poles who emerged 3-2 winners. The last competitive fixtures came in the qualifiers for Euro ’96, with both games ending in draws, as France went through to the finals as group runners-up with Poland finishing fourth in the group of six.

Since those times France have emerged as one of the best teams in the world becoming European Champions in 2000 and World Cup winners in 1998 and 2018, and as such came into this game as hot favourites.

Whilst the score-line suggest an easy win for the current World Champions, Poland certainly had their moments before France took the lead just before half-time. The goal was significant not just because it put Les Bleus ahead, but also because it was Olivier Giroud’s 52nd goal for France making his the country’s record scorer ahead of Thierry Henry. Kylian Mbappe was a constant threat throughout with his pace and physicality and his reward was two fine second-half goals which also were record breakers as the French striker bettered Pele’s total of scoring seven World Cup goals before the age of 24. The goals also saw Mbappe lead the race for the Golden Boot with five goals now to his name. Poland though gained a consolation deep into time added-on when they awarded a penalty which Robert Lewandowski converted at the second attempt (Lloris saved the first but was adjudged to have moved off his line too early) to make it 3-1. France looking ominously good.

 

England 3 (2) – (0) 0 Senegal (Al Bayt Stadium, Al Khor)

England scorers: Henderson (38′), Kane (45’+3’), Saka (57′)

 

This was the first ever senior international between The Three Lions and The Lions of Teranga (Teranga defined as a combination of hospitality, respect, community and solidarity) but who would be King of the Jungle (and not in a I’m a Celebrity kind of way).

England for the first thirty minutes were in a tight spot (cue Tight Fit’s version of The Lions Sleeps tonight for those of a certain age) as Senegal pressed, created decent chances and forced numerous passing errors. It was a nervous watch at this stage. There followed a switch as the slow playing from the back was replaced by a more direct style which suddenly produced results. As with the Wales game a quick two-goal salvo put the Three Lions in charge. Jude Bellingham was at the heart of both, first providing a break and great ball for Jordan Henderson to sweep home and for the second breaking up play and with a striding run created a move which Harry Kane finished gratefully smashed home. Suddenly that nervy first half hour was just a memory and England were cruising. An early goal in the second half from the Saka after a fine ball from Foden, meant a comfy lead and a chance for Gareth Southgate to ring the changes ahead of the Quarter Final with France. If England are to go any further then they have to do it the hard way. Surely a lion can overcome a cockerel?

Mr. Kane questions his DNA

Ancestry…

The logo on the envelope was blinking at him from his mantelpiece. The guy from the Middlesborough Mercury, was in his living room catching up with that interview he promised to give after the disaster of the Ballroom Dancing Championships over at the prestigious Mecca of Ballroom Dancing, Blackpool.

Mr. Kane had taken his premium stars over with high hopes of winning the entire competition. Their first contest against an unfancied team from somewhere in the east, was a complete delight.

Easily winners there were high hopes of the team of which he was captain, progressing into the next round. This was after a summer of mishaps and less than impressive performances, home and away, before they faced a USA team that flattered to achieve.

The future of the team’s progression now was in the balance and a final team contest against the National Team of Wales beckoned. In a fit of arrogance, Mr. Kane had been asked by the Mercury if they could chart his progress, and many in the paper thought he would be lucky to still be captain of the team by now, though he was utterly convinced he was in it to win it…

And now he looked over at the reporter in his living room who had just asked about the envelope on his mantelpiece.

Picture the scene…

A nervous Mr. Kane, sitting with questions hanging in the air. A reporter balanced on the edge of an uncomfortable couch poised with pen hoping for some answers. In between the air is heavy with expectation but for Mr. Kane he feels it is like a trap. Given the results he has been captain for in Blackpool – that uninspiring draw with the Yanks – he is cautious over what the reporter wants to ask…

“What do you mean?” Stall for time, he thinks, that’s what to do.

The reporter, not long out of university, is slightly caught off guard. An old hand at the newspaper had told him to make some nice comment about the house in the interview so that the interviewee feels more at ease. It was a simple comment, and not without any understanding. The reporter’s uncle had gone and got his DNA tested months ago and found out he was half Swedish. Caused one hell of a row in the family, given that his father and mother had given some guy called Sven bed and board decades ago during a summer dad was away working on the oil rigs…

Mr. Kane’s response was curious. The other piece of advice given to the reporter was, that if any question gets an odd response… probe deeper… but don’t be too obvious about it…

“So, tell me, Mr. Kane,” he began. “What did you think of Harry’s performance, particularly in the Tango?”

Harry had been the subject of much abuse and criticisms of late as team talisman, so it was only naturally, thought the reporter that the chance for some redemption in the USA match would be taken.

Mr. Kane grabbed at the distraction, though he was unaware it was a distraction. He responded, “Harry put in a fantastic performance. Whenever he puts the sequins on it brings out the best in him. He had a fantastic dance, and he did previously too. I am really happy for him. He’s had some tough moments in the last year or two, but he’s shown his quality.”

Taking some notes down to record Mr. Kane’s thoughts, the reporter then shoots out with, “and the Ancestry stuff is that a bonding thing with the team?”

Mr. Kane is caught off guard. “No,” he blurts out, a little too quickly.

“Just something personal then, is it?” shoots back the reporter.

Mr. Kane is disconcerted once more. “I am not quite…”

“Oh, our readers are always curious, you know, about the man behind the headlines.” That was his favourite piece of crap he would spout at interviewees. Got him an A on a university assignment once. “Nothing of consequence, I am sure, but we like to flesh out the man. For the public. They can be so more understanding if they have a whole picture.”

Mr. Kane is not convinced but smiles, hoping that it is enough to deflect the thrust of the questioning.

“Hopes for the next match. Win I suppose?” the reporter asks next.

Mr. Kane looks again at the envelope and realises that it has been opened. Someone knows and it is not him. He was saving that for later. A quiet time and not for someone else to spoil. This is appalling. Who could have opened it? The postman? She always looked shifty. Since she started the hormone treatment, she was a different person, or so he thought…

Mr. Kane becomes aware of the air of expectation in the room and realises that he has not yet answered the last question. He can’t even remember what the last question was.

“Sorry,” he begins. “I have just realised that I have something very important to do and will need to get the sequins for it sewn on before lunchtime.”

The reporter smirks as he stands and looks at the envelope. He turns to Mr. Kane and asks, “so, if you get through the group stages, I shall be looking for a follow up interview, Mr. Kane.”

“Of course, yes, whatever you want, we can schedule that in, any time. You have my number and can give me a call, whenever suits. That will be fine.” Ushering the reporter, off the couch and into their coat, through the living room and along the hallway, towards the front door, the reporter stops at it and turns.

“Now, Mr. Kane,” he begins. “I do hope that you will be true to your word, and we shall talk again, whatever the result with Wales may be. I am used to sly and sleekit people who promise one thing and deliver nothing.”

Mr. Kane gulps. That is exactly what he was going to do. He takes in a big gulp of air, crosses his fingers and toes and responds, “of course not. We shall talk soon.”

And with that opens the front door and prods the reporter out of it.

Once the door is closed the view on either side of it could not be different. The reporter flips open his phone, calls his editor and speculates with a smirk, what might be in that contentious envelope.

On the other side, a worried Mr. Kane darts back to the living room to find his wife standing with the envelope in her hand.

“Did you know?” she asks.

“Know what?” he responds.

“I should have known,” she begins, “getting to the Championships by the skin of your teeth, then showing signs of faltering against weak opposition and ending up with one match likely to decide your fate.”

“So what?”

“You’re half bloody Scottish, that’s what…”

 

Whilst the author, asserts his right to this as an original piece of work there is no evidence that Harry Kane is half Scottish, unless you know differently, so this is clearly a piece of fiction, though we have used some words spoken by captain Harry Kane as source material.

The fact is that after the USA match where England looked at best, lacklustre, Harry Kane gave an interview where he praised under fire colleague Harry Maguire thus, “Harry put in a fantastic performance. Whenever he puts the Three Lions badge on it brings out the best in him. He had a fantastic game and he did against Iran too. I am really happy for him. He’s had some tough moments in the last year or two but he’s shown his quality today and it was a really important clean sheet.” At the time of writing many Scots are learning the words to Men of Harlech…

 

Donald C Stewart

First appeared on the Scottish Football Supporter’s Association website https://scottishfsa.org/

2022 World Cup – Wednesday 30 November 2022

Group A:

Ecuador 1 (0) – (1) 2 Senegal (Khalifa International Stadium, Al Rayyan)

Ecuador scorer: Caicedo (67′). Senegal scorers: Sarr (44′ pen), Koulibaly (70′)

 

Netherlands 2 (1) – (0) 0 Qatar (Al Bayt Stadium, Al Khor)

Netherlands scorers: Gakpo (26′), de Jong (49′)

 

Going into the final round the table order was, Netherlands, Ecuador, Senegal and Qatar. For the Dutch their win over the hapless hosts Qatar was no surprise, although Cody Gakpo’s reputation was given another boost as he scored again to record three goals in three games, with the points sealed by a de Jong tap-in early in the second half. The win enough to ensure top spot. Just for the record, Qatar became the first host nation to exit the tournament with three group-stage losses, finishing bottom with no points.

The real interest in Group A was over at the Khalifa International Stadium. Both sides had the chance progress, with Ecuador knowing a draw would be enough for them. However, it was the Senegalese  Lions of Teranga who came to dominate the game. Without their star player Sadio Mane there was concern that Senegal would struggle. However, Watford winger set them on their way a minute before the break coolly slotting home a penalty. The English connection continued in the second half, with Brighton’s Moises Caicedo levelling for Ecuador somewhat against the run of play on sixty-seven minutes. The Tricolours joy was short-lived though, as just three minutes later Chelsea’s Kalidou Koulibaly’s side footed volley restored Senegal’s lead, one they held onto at the whistle.

This is Senegal’s third World Cup, having debuted in 2002 and also participating in 2018. In Russia they exited in the group stages, but in 2002 beat Sweden 2-1 (AET) in the last sixteen, before exiting 1-0 to Turkey in the Quarter Finals. England beware.

 

Group B:

Wales 0 (0) – (0) 3 England (Ahmad bin Ali Stadium, Al Rayyan)

England scorers: Rashford (50′, 68′), Foden (51′)

 

Iran 0 (0) – (1) 1 USA (Al Thumama Stadium, Doha)

USA scorer: Pulisic (38′)

 

The table before these final fixtures saw England top, with Iran second, USA third and Wales bottom.

As with Ecuador earlier in the day, Iran knew that a point would be enough. However, with what was at stake, the game lacked a real intensity. The USA created more in the opening half and deserved their 1-0 advantage through Pulisic. Iran had a late claim for a penalty rejected, but with only one shot on target in the game it told you all you needed to know about this game. USA through to play the Netherlands.

The Three Lions knew that they had their fate in their hands and dominated Wales from the off with great energy and pressing that had been missing from the game against the USA but couldn’t find a finish. That was all put right in the second half as three goals in eighteen minutes extinguished the Red Dragons and their faint hopes of progress. The Welsh looked on the ropes during that second forty-five and for many of their senior players it was their last hurrah at a World Cup. Of course (without being patronising) it was an achievement for them to qualify – yes we know the last time as 1958. However, will just leave these here from a couple of the Welsh squad: Sorba Thomas, “We don’t fear England, never have. Whether that’s football, rugby, whatever, we don’t fear England and for us why not we be the ones to knock them out.” Kieffer Moore, “can’t wait to knock England out of the World Cup.”